Sunday, November 09, 2003
THERE BUT FOR THE “WILL & GRACE” OF GOD GO I . . .
The Episcopal Church ordained its first openly gay bishop, Gene Robinson, in New Hampshire last week, and opened up a schismatic charismatic. I think we can all gain words of wisdom from a respected source.
And here’s to you Mr. Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know.
God bless you, please Mr. Robinson.
Heaven holds a place for those who pray.
It’s been a harried time for the Church. You see protestors with make-shift placards that tout “Be GAT don’t be GAY.” “It was Adam and Eve, and not Adam and Steve.” “Leviticus then and NOW.” So much of this stems from the inerrant ideas from biblical history. In my youth, I spent an inordinate amount of time in Bible study, and I came to realize that this Bible thing is downright confusing, because the writers of the Bible seemed to reflect their cultures, their ideas, over the passage of time.
I think I know where all this Leviticus stuff about a man lying down with another man comes from. The early Jews didn’t believe in resurrection or a hereafter for that matter. A man would achieve immortality through his blood, his lineage. A father could be assured that, barring any wars or such, that he would continue to live on in the blood of his children and their children and theirs. It was pretty damn important.
When a guy’s wife couldn’t give him offspring, it was panic time. The guy would be forced to have sex with a hand maiden. (And not because he liked having sex with slave girls) And I don’t mean handjobs here. The hand maiden would have to bear his children to preserve his immortality.
Seed was not to be trifled with. Genesis 38:8 is where Onan felt that dark side of the Lord for spilling his seed on the ground, giving rise to a cottage industry of seed spillers. The Lord commanded him to have sex with his dead brother’s wife to preserve the lineage. She must have been a dog or something for him to disobey the Lord. And imagine how she must have felt. A coyote ugly woman must have been a looker compared to the Onan-sister-ion-law-ugly broad. God himself commanded Onan to have sex with her, and he just couldn’t. “Excuse me, my dear sister-in-law, while I just step outside the tent and get this old thing ready.” It went off in his hand, and God smited him. Blindness would have been more humane I think, Lord.
This seed obsession is a reason that lesbians get off easy. Two ladies doing the nasty didn’t have the same threat. Maybe it was a hot thing for the guys to watch back then too. Who knows. But the “NEED for SEED” governed everything. And good ole Leviticus, stepped in to write about all of this. In spite of how good he made the butts of the men in his tribe look in those new denim pants he called Levi’s.
The Episcopal Church ordained its first openly gay bishop, Gene Robinson, in New Hampshire last week, and opened up a schismatic charismatic. I think we can all gain words of wisdom from a respected source.
And here’s to you Mr. Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know.
God bless you, please Mr. Robinson.
Heaven holds a place for those who pray.
It’s been a harried time for the Church. You see protestors with make-shift placards that tout “Be GAT don’t be GAY.” “It was Adam and Eve, and not Adam and Steve.” “Leviticus then and NOW.” So much of this stems from the inerrant ideas from biblical history. In my youth, I spent an inordinate amount of time in Bible study, and I came to realize that this Bible thing is downright confusing, because the writers of the Bible seemed to reflect their cultures, their ideas, over the passage of time.
I think I know where all this Leviticus stuff about a man lying down with another man comes from. The early Jews didn’t believe in resurrection or a hereafter for that matter. A man would achieve immortality through his blood, his lineage. A father could be assured that, barring any wars or such, that he would continue to live on in the blood of his children and their children and theirs. It was pretty damn important.
When a guy’s wife couldn’t give him offspring, it was panic time. The guy would be forced to have sex with a hand maiden. (And not because he liked having sex with slave girls) And I don’t mean handjobs here. The hand maiden would have to bear his children to preserve his immortality.
Seed was not to be trifled with. Genesis 38:8 is where Onan felt that dark side of the Lord for spilling his seed on the ground, giving rise to a cottage industry of seed spillers. The Lord commanded him to have sex with his dead brother’s wife to preserve the lineage. She must have been a dog or something for him to disobey the Lord. And imagine how she must have felt. A coyote ugly woman must have been a looker compared to the Onan-sister-ion-law-ugly broad. God himself commanded Onan to have sex with her, and he just couldn’t. “Excuse me, my dear sister-in-law, while I just step outside the tent and get this old thing ready.” It went off in his hand, and God smited him. Blindness would have been more humane I think, Lord.
This seed obsession is a reason that lesbians get off easy. Two ladies doing the nasty didn’t have the same threat. Maybe it was a hot thing for the guys to watch back then too. Who knows. But the “NEED for SEED” governed everything. And good ole Leviticus, stepped in to write about all of this. In spite of how good he made the butts of the men in his tribe look in those new denim pants he called Levi’s.
