Lorenzo from AZ

I'VE NEVER WATCHED C.S.I., BUT . . .

I saw this on CNN today. Note my emphasis.
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CNN 6/16/06

BOISE, Idaho (AP) -- A man transporting his wife's severed head in a pickup truck collided with an oncoming car, killing a woman and her 4-year-old daughter, police said. The impact sent the head flying onto the road.

A Boise police officer was driving behind Alofa Time's truck on a busy road when he noticed the man's erratic driving and then watched him slam into the car, police spokeswoman Lynn Hightower said.

Time, 51, who was not injured, told officers he was involved his wife's death, investigators said.

After searching Time's house in Nampa, police found the decapitated body of 47-year-old Theresa N. Time in a car inside the garage, authorities said. She likely had been dead for several hours, Nampa Police Lt. LeRoy Forsman said.

An autopsy was scheduled next week to determine Theresa Time's cause of death, Canyon County Coroner Vicki DeGeus-Morris said.

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Let me give the Canyon County Coroner a head start. Cause of death: Reference crime lab photo of torso missing head. But then I dropped out of pre-med.

"It’s not the gays that are a threat to my marriage; it’s the women that want to sleep with my husband."

From a New Yorker cartoon, depicting a group of women chatting about current events with cocktails.

I’m reminded of this cartoon as I listen to all the crazy-zaniness in Congress as several conservatives reach hyperbolic apoplexy over this “attack” on marriage. Ergo, let’s change the Constitution.

Laws send a message I’m told. If it were not for laws discouraging gays from existing as a couple and certainly, making it harder on gay sex, I’m told that the siren song of gay pleasure would suck a poor unsuspecting hetero into a decadent, hedonistic lifestyle. That’s a lot to swallow—even for a gay man. The implicit or even sometimes stated opinion is that being gay is a choice—without rules, order, laws, men and women would choose to be gay.

What I have yet been able to ask these "choice" guys, and years ago what I so wanted to ask my FBI ex-father-in-law who talked about the choice I had made, was “so like, when did YOU make that choice that you didn’t appreciate a sweaty, hairy guy’s throbbing man tool up your butt?” “Could you put your finger on it or me, please?”

DIRECTOR OF HOMO-LAND INSECURITY, A Division of Homeland Security

I’ve heard that in addition to pushing for a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, that Bush will create a sub-cabinet director position for Homo Land Insecurity, to continue to fight the queer agenda and related Powerpoints.

Quite properly, this division will be used to eradicate the homosexual terrorist threats to our very life, to our institutions, to our faith-based governance, and then to all the homo hype in the media. The homos must be stopped. To do nothing means the terrorists win, and that we don't support our troops.

Now some of the Bush haters will rudely and inadvisably suggest that with the pervasive energy, war, budget, and world strife issues, that rooting out gays would not be such a high national priority. Not so. Everyone needs to get over that. Let’s face it; life sucks. Bush just wants to determine the scope of any sucking going on.

Think of it as that big high school bully who used to sneak up from behind and grab your underwear in purely a manly way and pull them way up to see you grimace in pain and have the girls see your Fruit of the Loom tag. The classic high school wedgie. That’s all the homo erratic strategy is--just a wedgie in between the Red and Blue State’s cheeks to keep them further apart and provide some hilarious high-jinks to distract us. And let’s face it , did anyone have any lasting scrotal damage? Nope. Personally, as a wedgie magnet personality in school, the pain would go away, and I was just left with downright hilarious comments in my year book about Castrati Career choices or hanging out with the Boy’s Choir. As we say today. “LOL”

I’m sure the Bush Administration has thought so long and so hard about how to handle homosexuals, that they are cooking up even BETTER strategies for the war, budget, and the environment. LOL.