Lorenzo from AZ

DIRECTOR OF HOMO-LAND INSECURITY, A Division of Homeland Security

I’ve heard that in addition to pushing for a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, that Bush will create a sub-cabinet director position for Homo Land Insecurity, to continue to fight the queer agenda and related Powerpoints.

Quite properly, this division will be used to eradicate the homosexual terrorist threats to our very life, to our institutions, to our faith-based governance, and then to all the homo hype in the media. The homos must be stopped. To do nothing means the terrorists win, and that we don't support our troops.

Now some of the Bush haters will rudely and inadvisably suggest that with the pervasive energy, war, budget, and world strife issues, that rooting out gays would not be such a high national priority. Not so. Everyone needs to get over that. Let’s face it; life sucks. Bush just wants to determine the scope of any sucking going on.

Think of it as that big high school bully who used to sneak up from behind and grab your underwear in purely a manly way and pull them way up to see you grimace in pain and have the girls see your Fruit of the Loom tag. The classic high school wedgie. That’s all the homo erratic strategy is--just a wedgie in between the Red and Blue State’s cheeks to keep them further apart and provide some hilarious high-jinks to distract us. And let’s face it , did anyone have any lasting scrotal damage? Nope. Personally, as a wedgie magnet personality in school, the pain would go away, and I was just left with downright hilarious comments in my year book about Castrati Career choices or hanging out with the Boy’s Choir. As we say today. “LOL”

I’m sure the Bush Administration has thought so long and so hard about how to handle homosexuals, that they are cooking up even BETTER strategies for the war, budget, and the environment. LOL.