Saturday, August 09, 2003
HELP! I need your support NOW!
Today is the last day for submitting an application for California governor.
I withdrew the balance of my 401k after the last market dip to get the $3,500 needed for application. Now I just need 65 signatures (or email acknowledgements) of people who can attest to my qualifications for office in a, you know, a Gary Coleman sort of way.
Don’t worry that I’m not a resident of California. I can always commute on Southwest for important meetings or better yet just do teleconferences at home in the mornings like a I do today with my terry cloth robe, a cup of coffee, and my lucky bunny slippers.
Plus, by the time I take office, Arizona will be one hour ahead of California when the Daylight Savings Time changes. In fact, my campaign manager has already suggested “Vote for Lorin, a man ahead of your time half the year.” Better than my last campaign slogan of “You’re Scorin’ with Lorin” but then that was the 60s and another story.
Since Californians have elected an acting governor before and are considering Arnold, another actor wannabe governor, I figure that not only could I be an acting governor (reprising my highly acclaimed role as King of the Paris Sewer Men in “Madwoman of Chaillot”), but I could also act like I actually lived in California. If you’re a good actor, you can have your audience, or in this case constituency, suspend their disbeliefs about your competency, character, and culpability.
I know I can trust on your support.
From the bottom of my thespian heart--and by the way, you are a wonderful audience, and I was I could take you home with me--I sincerely thank you.
“CUT”
Today is the last day for submitting an application for California governor.
I withdrew the balance of my 401k after the last market dip to get the $3,500 needed for application. Now I just need 65 signatures (or email acknowledgements) of people who can attest to my qualifications for office in a, you know, a Gary Coleman sort of way.
Don’t worry that I’m not a resident of California. I can always commute on Southwest for important meetings or better yet just do teleconferences at home in the mornings like a I do today with my terry cloth robe, a cup of coffee, and my lucky bunny slippers.
Plus, by the time I take office, Arizona will be one hour ahead of California when the Daylight Savings Time changes. In fact, my campaign manager has already suggested “Vote for Lorin, a man ahead of your time half the year.” Better than my last campaign slogan of “You’re Scorin’ with Lorin” but then that was the 60s and another story.
Since Californians have elected an acting governor before and are considering Arnold, another actor wannabe governor, I figure that not only could I be an acting governor (reprising my highly acclaimed role as King of the Paris Sewer Men in “Madwoman of Chaillot”), but I could also act like I actually lived in California. If you’re a good actor, you can have your audience, or in this case constituency, suspend their disbeliefs about your competency, character, and culpability.
I know I can trust on your support.
From the bottom of my thespian heart--and by the way, you are a wonderful audience, and I was I could take you home with me--I sincerely thank you.
“CUT”
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