Friday, October 05, 2007
WHERE'S BROTHER BIN LADEN?
And why aren't we seeing him in Sunday School?
I was reminded of how good the Mormon Church is at tracking down lost souls, irrespective of checkered pasts (heresy, drinking coffee, soiled special underwear, going down on deacons, . . . ). The Church Elders never give up, even years later, to "maintain the integrity of the membership rolls".
They tracked me down today on my cell phone while I was at Starbucks, and they were doing skip tracing on my erstwhile Mormon sister who hasn't attended their church for years (me, for decades). They knew her married name and everything. Jesus!
So, in the interest of national security, can we just turn these guys loose on tracking down Osama? Once they locate him, send out two Mormon missionaries on bikes to whatever family home Osama is broadcasting from, explain the values they share: no booze, yes to multiple wives, no homos, and being so damn sure about everything. Just ask Mitt.
Think about it.
And why aren't we seeing him in Sunday School?
I was reminded of how good the Mormon Church is at tracking down lost souls, irrespective of checkered pasts (heresy, drinking coffee, soiled special underwear, going down on deacons, . . . ). The Church Elders never give up, even years later, to "maintain the integrity of the membership rolls".
They tracked me down today on my cell phone while I was at Starbucks, and they were doing skip tracing on my erstwhile Mormon sister who hasn't attended their church for years (me, for decades). They knew her married name and everything. Jesus!
So, in the interest of national security, can we just turn these guys loose on tracking down Osama? Once they locate him, send out two Mormon missionaries on bikes to whatever family home Osama is broadcasting from, explain the values they share: no booze, yes to multiple wives, no homos, and being so damn sure about everything. Just ask Mitt.
Think about it.
Comments:
Post a Comment
